I hope I can type out the right words in this post that are coming from my heart.
I feel that when I was a child I had one foot in the old times and one in the more modern times. After world war 2 was over life started changing quickly as the modern things of the 1950's were coming on fast and furious.
Food was becoming more processed. It actually changed quite a bit during the war due to shortages. Then it was all about easier but it was not coming from the homemaker it was coming from advertising and door to door salesman. This was during the time that most any type of new appliance was being sold door to door. Insurance men came to the house to sell insurance and to take payments.
We were prodded along to change as it was easy to turn a head to look at what was new. I personally liked life before all the changes but the old was being pushed away and getting more difficult to live the old way.
Charles and I have been trying to make our change to living more like the past for several years now. Many people just wonder why? The answer to that is because for us it just feels right.
Long ago we did not have the option to put something on a credit card because there were none. People could go to the bank and get a loan or put things on lay-a -way. But when you lived pretty much the same way there was no need to go into debt because most just made do. People did at times put things "on the bill" at a store but it was paid off at the end of the month or on payday. It was not like credit today.
In the past most things were made with high quality and lasted for years. Now things only work for a short time and I feel this is on purpose.
I have been very grieved about the violence in our country. I keep wondering where did we go wrong? Why is there so much hate and mental illness? There were things like this in the past but there was nothing like this. There were wars and crimes but nothing like hate coming from people in our own country. In the past our country was more unified and respectful. There is a definite change. Other countries are seeing more violence as well.
I feel somewhat guilty as I keep wondering why did I want part of that change when I was younger? If we had all just kept to a simple life would things have been better? I liked life as it was and the most enjoyment I ever had was when we went to my Grandparents and aunts and uncles where life was simple. My very best memories in my life were those times.
As I write about this there are parts in our country that are more like the past and if you are reading this and from those smaller communities you might not understand what I am writing about. I did not even realize that some communities have held on to the way it was until I took a trip about 10 years ago to upstate New York. Not New York city but Upstate New York and what I saw was surprising to me and I have learned there are other communities too that have held their values.
We should have held on to what we had and not let the salesmen and even government try to get us to change. I wish I was still driving our 1955 ford. In the past there were government commercials showing us how we were suppose to live and eat and drink and now I see it was all about making people move along in time purchasing to keep the economy growing. But what happened on the way was some people got rich and greed took over and prodded people to feel less if they did not own these things that were modern. So the modern world became what it is today with many people in serious debt.
My Grandparents lived into their 90's and never changed much at all and I should have known.
But we went through life racking up debt and then stress worrying how to get out of debt knowing all along it was wrong and we should have waited and saved, put it on lay-a-way or just kept what we had. It was later on for us that we realized that life in the past was much better than today and started doing all we could to get out of debt.
Sadly now people in our country are burying children, parents and grandparents because they were shot and killed in a grocery store shopping for food and supplies shopping at the mall or out for the evening or enjoying a garlic festival. Then there have been all the school shootings and workplace shooting. Can we fix this?
I feel the home life has fallen apart.
I know many of my readers are already trying to work through this modern world with the mess it is in. You sometimes ask me, "where are the others like me?" Speaking of themselves as wanting to live a simple life.
All I can say is they are out there because they email me. We are few compared to the numbers in this world but we are here doing our best but many are not.
If you have found my blog just recently and you are wondering if there is something else, my blog and Rhonda Hetzel's blog at down to earth is all about living a simple life. We are both trying to help people by writing articles and by sharing pictures of our homes and to share about getting out of debt and living a more simple life.
How do we stop violence? We have to stop waiting for government. We the people are the majority so we start at home. We have to control our tempers because there is so much discourse. Hate is the fuel for violence. It is no longer who is right or who is wrong whether it be political or a domestic dispute, we must be examples for our children and for others that see and hear us that we may not be aware of that we somehow influence due to our actions or words.
A parent at no time should let a child watch a television show that is not proper and a parent should supervise what a child watches and best to not watch it at all today because most of it is improper. The commercials are terrible and we should all be complaining and demanding these are not allowed. The adults in the household should not be selfish and watch television shows that are not respectful. Encourage appropriate play instead of electronics.
If you are in a store or close to someone walking past that has their pants half way down, cover your eyes rather than saying something to them. Hopefully it will at least embarrass them. Cover your child's eyes as a gesture of disapproval. Saying something to these young people will just get a rude remark back and solve nothing because these people are just numb and immune from living in a society that lets them do anything they want. In the past they would have most likely been arrested.
In the past the average home had few appliances. My mother kept a tidy home and meals were always eaten at the table. There was a respect of the home and the role of the person that keeps the home but now has been devalued which in my opinion has led to total chaos in many homes.
In the past a baby never looked at a television until they were eventually brought into the homes in the 1950s. My brother above and cousin Ken never had electronic devices until they were adults with children of their own. My brother as an adult, a buisness owner and Ken is retired after a life served in the military. Thank you Ken for your service to our country.
In the past a five year old child was still considered a baby. Children are rushed entirely too much today and have too much stimulation often causing very hyper children. The children I know that were raised on farms and very simple lives of the past grew up to be very smart and wonderful polite adults.
Children need chores, start early to teach them how to do things. They can fold cloths and dust. They can feed the pets and take out trash. They can pick up their toys. They can put their clothes away and learn to wipe up spills. As they get older they can start helping with the dishes and laundry and cleaning the floors and more. The home belongs to all of us and we all have a part of taking care of the home. Our home is what shelters us and we should be respectful of that.
I have had many emails from young adults that have told me their parents never taught them to do things as their parents never cooked at home or did much housekeeping.
I want to say I am proud of these young people that write to me as they know in their gut that there has to be a better way and some want no more part of this world as it is and want a more simple life.
If your children are around other children that are influencing them the wrong way remove your child from that situation. If it is a school problem then home school them but only if you truly do the right thing with them and truly have them do lessons and get a tutor for subjects that you feel that you are not able to teach. I know many people that home school and have done a wonderful job.
Live beneath your income, if you have to live smaller to do this then live smaller. We cannot have bills each month that exceeds our income, it just does not work and a solution must be found. Some people work two jobs but do you really want to do this if a change can put you in a better financial where your bills are under what you make and have some extra to save. Working a second job to pay off debt is quite a difference than to working a second job just to break even.
Sometimes we have to get very creative. We can live without cable, cell phones and many ways to cut back.
There is a lot going on in this world while we are all being distracted. Pay attention and work towards keeping a home that will shelter, feed and clothe you.
Have food in the house to where you can whip up a meal or something to bake from food that is stored in your pantry or cabinets.
Purchasing ready made snack food is a waste of money and that money is better spent on the ingredients to make homemade food.
If there is a birthday, bake your own cake because you can use more organic and real ingredients because food problems seem to be another issue today with all the recalls and sickness.
Learn to grow food, even if it is just a small amount. Children need good simple food that has no additives. It is bad enough growing up in a toxic world so we need to eat as healthy as we can and homemade meals is the best way we can do this.
Children watch what we do and we need to nurture and love our children and not give them "things" to entertain them so we can go sit with our electronics. Let them take part in what we do so they develop their fine and gross motor skills. There is much to be said about sometimes the child likes to play with the box more than what was in the box.
It is nice to have pretty things in the house instead of all the plastic and generic goods. If you have little money to spend a good way to purchase items for the home, a good way is buy at the thrift store because there are good quality items there. I purchased a little at a time from the thrifts.
As children grow up we want them to have had all the best we could give them of 'us" but in a way as not to cater to them as we want them to develop responsibility.
There is something special to grow up in a "homey" home, more special is to grow up in a home that has love as the center core. Our generations that talked about the past as they lived it are mostly gone now or do not blog due to their elderly state. We need to continue to talk to our children about their generations before them to establish their roots.
We hear some adults that were adopted talk about the need to feel connected to their birth family to know who they were. When I was growing up and especially now my family that are gone, parents and grand parents, aunts and uncles and the most treasured part of my life.
The diary of Sarah we see the importance of genealogy as she keeps writing in her genealogy documents. We need to find ways for children to find connection. They need older people in their lives too because it is a sense of connection. Even if your family has been disrupted in some way maybe visit elderly in nursing homes with your child or children and adopt an elderly person that has no one to visit them.
There are things we can do to help children develop compassion for others.
To have clean linens on the beds teaches them the right way. See it is in everything we do that steers a child. I am saying these things because I have seen too many situations where there is clutter and uncleanliness in the home and the children just get numb to this. Many times they also are very embarrassed and do not want their friends to come to their home.
If you are a child or teen as some of you have been that have emailed me, I am proud of those of you that have decided to keep your room clean even though the rest of the house is not clean. And the one that wrote to me that decided to start washing yours and your brothers clothes and hanging them on the rope that you hung between the trees, you are brilliant and a very mature take charge young person. I would love to hear from you again.
It seems to me that it is easier to nurture the child if we live a more simple life. The more we have the more complicated and distance we are from our children. I worry about the children that have televisions and computers in their room and they never come out. This is the parents responsibility to correct.
Never allow a child or teenager to play any video game that has any kind of violence. Never! Do not buy it and do not allow them to buy it. It is just wrong and can put them in a different mindset. Be the adult. There is a family roll, Father, Mother Child. Be the parent and do not take the easy road. This is just wrong! If you have an older teenager and already lost control of your teen and they are overpowering you, Get Help! Do not ignore this.
Start young so you do not have this problem, you have to love a child but have enough discipline that there is a fear they have in disappointing you. The reason I say this?
My children are very responsible adults, never had any problems with them. Both of them have told me that they had a good childhood and they are glad that we never gave them everything the wanted because it helped them as adults and also how they have raised their children. They also said that they didn't do things bad as teens and young adults like some of their friends because of fear of disappointing me.
We should teach them along the way to be respectful adults. We nourish them with love, food, prayer, we teach them to sew and keep a house, to read the books we see as literature that is good for them.
Most of this has been done in the past by the generations with the least interference of modern gadgets, electronics and things of today.
Can we still do all of this today? We can at least "just try", it is better than the direction we are going today with our young people.
If we give children all the things of today or things they want there can be disappointment later and feeling of life being dull and not able to satisfy that need. They may have a feeling of entitlement and may lead to an overspending life and debt. Some may be turn to drugs or other activities to try and fill the void.
We cannot eat everything that tastes good over and over without Consequence of weight gain and possible health issues. We should have some control and this includes spending.
It does take work on our part and it does matter what we do and how we behave. When we have love for our children and spouse we should want to take care of them. When we make our home comfortable and less cluttered, have a balanced budget, pay of our debts it is like a weight has been removed.
I realized since I have become a Grandmother /Great Grandmother the direction things are going are not looking good.I did not feel this way raising my Children. It seems that my children's generation just barely missed the times that became complicated with raising a child as they grew up before computers and cell phones and instant everything.
I am truly concerned about our young people today and the world they must live in as it seems to be a toxic brew. We must just try to do our part even if we do not have a child because they are watching us.
I mentioned Rhonda Hetzel she has a wonderful blog about living a simple life and she is much better with posts about how to reduce debt. Her blog is. https://down---to---earth.blogspot.com/
Grandma Donna
