Comments On Article: Being Mindful

Kimberly F Thanks for the information! I hadn't thought about things like an alumni association. I'm just glad that we have good dental insurance now. We still have $8,000-$9,000 to pay out of pocket for my husband's dental work this year, but that's supposed to take care of things. After that, he should be at two cleanings a year. Our insurance only pays for x-rays every two years and the dentist said they are doing a lot more partial x-rays these days. That will make it cheaper. A full-set of x-rays here is $435. Cleanings are $135. If we stagger the x-rays for each person to different years, and stretch it out, it's less than the insurance premiums are annually for a family plan. I had a dental hygienist once tell me my tooth brushing procedure is excessive, but it works. :) I brush my teeth, then use a tool called a gum stimulator to go around my teeth to make sure nothing got missed, then I floss, then I use baking soda (toothpaste in the past) to brush my teeth again. I went without eating sugar for two years once and my teeth were the best they'd ever been. I've already warned my family about the no-sugar thing. :)

Sallie, as a child I was forbidden to play any games involving winning goldfish hahahaha!  My mom said she would flush them straight down the toilet if I brought them home.  I believed her!  I later asked if she meant it.  She said she could never have done that, but she was glad we believed her.She said she didn't want to end up cleaning out the bowl.

Debby B, many years ago my children played games at a 4th of July carnival, and one of them “won” and was given a goldfish.  Then the person running the booth gave the other child 2 goldfish for “losing”.  Two died very quickly and the third one lived over a year despite us only using a fish bowl, and that fish even went on a camping vacation with us!

Stephanie G, I once followed a carnivore diet for a few weeks, and my teeth were never cleaner!  12 hours after brushing there was zero film on my teeth at all, even after sleeping.  That diet is just too expensive to follow, plus it caused extreme insomnia and I figured it wouldn’t be good for my heart long term.  It was good for the GI issues, however, plus I had great mood and energy (even without sleeping well) and less joint pain.  I floss first (twice a day), rinse really well, and then brush without rinsing, so the toothpaste minerals stays on my teeth longer which helps with sensitivity and remineralization.  I think our dentist does cheaper cash pay options, as he said $500 a year for cleanings every 6 months and a full set of x-rays.  But his son has been slowly taking over the practice, and I think the cash pay price will go up as well.  The son likes to do more things.

Today at the vet the doctor wanted both dogs to get lab work done — for our “senior” dog she now wants it twice a year because of his heart murmur.  Annual exams + vaccines + blood work + urinalyses for two dogs was $700!  It is such a different world than when I was growing up, but of course it means they can detect heart, kidney, and liver issues much sooner and begin treatment when there is still time to make a difference.

I hated when I worked outside the home while still wanting to care for it.  I remember telling a fellow manager that I felt split in two because I needed to work and was very successful at my career, but I also wanted to be home baking bread from scratch, making homecooked meals, etc.  For those of you who are working outside the home, I hope you can give yourselves grace when you are tired, and lower the standards a little.  Try to find beauty — it takes just as long to wash a plain ugly plate as it does to wash a pretty one.  These days I think most women do have to work outside of the home, without the support they need, and it’s easy to get burned out.  I had a list of meals I rotated through, and even back then I had an electric pressure cooker which was such a help.  My sister in law made good use of a slow cooker so she could come home to dinner mostly made.  My aunt came home on Friday evenings, changed into her “cleaning clothes” and cleaned the house before bed so her weekend wasn’t taken up with cleaning.  She would even stop for groceries on the way home!  She said she would much rather fall into bed exhausted on Friday night than spend her weekend cleaning and doing errands.  She was following this routine at 60 years old

Kimberly I was the same way when working, I wanted to be home so much. But I was a single mom with 2 little girls depending on me.

When I got off work I would pick up the girls and once home we all had "assigned" chores to complete, age appropriate for the girls and then supper and homework.  As they got older I "graduated" them to other chores and it made them feel more grown up. We worked as a team and to this day both daughters are good with housework/chores. They don't always do things the way I do but whatever works. I canned whole meals and used my crockpot a lot. Weekends I made things on the grill or stovetop. We worked hard but we had fun also.

I always say now that I was built for retirement, honestly I love it. I have my home set up the way I am comfortable and can easily clean, I cook simply and usually seasonally, lots of smoothies and salads right now, make broth with whatever needs used and freeze or can for winter dishes.

I try very hard to live in the moment, be mindful of everything I do and I try to be very forgiving and loving. 

I am feeling so blessed and lucky - I've never had to be a single mum, brought up my two girls as a stay at home mum, and looked after my grandchildren and enjoyed it - we have always been a one income family and survived very well due to my budgeting skills and frugality learned from an early age from my own parents.  However times have been challenging of late due to my big brother still in hospital and now aiming for nursing home/residential aged care but although very 'with it' in his own mind, he's not really accepting that these things are expensive and cost a lot of money - of which he has little in cash assets.  He won't accept that he's never going home to his unit and will also have to sell his lovely beach side unit up north to fund his placement.  Given the fact that I'm four hours drive away from him and my sister further again, we're fighting a losing battle with him.

Caroline is fortunate she has a loving daddy who has taken care of the aquarium the past nine years. Those little fish won the lottery when they came home with Caroline. Most carnival fish live a few days. Hers were blessed in many ways. 

For Laura, I only work part time, but it is a juggling act to keep up with the home. I don't get much done in the evenings on the days I work and always plan for a simple meal, normally one of my freezer meals (hearty soup and toast). Any extras I freeze and that's dinner on my work days, with a cooked vege or salad. My husband helps me a lot, and I don't take that for granted. Blessings to you Laura :)

Grandma Donna, I love what you've done with reinforcing the walls and also appreciate the natural wood look. It reminds me of a lady on you tube (Roaming Wild Rosie), who is renovating a home in Sweden, she uses natural wood for her walls.

I also really love your vintage dishes and pretty table settings Donna :)

This year we purchased mini greenhouses, that sit on our verandah. Its like a container with legs with a vented lid. I grow lettuces in them year round, and am going to try spinach too. I don't need to worry about pests and snails anymore !! win win 

Regards freezing in glass ! yes I do that. Years ago I purchased the glass containers with plastic lid (all freezer safe) from kmart, just one at a time as I had the money. I freeze portion sizes in them (enough for one meal for two people). I also buy milk in a large carton and then freeze it in wide mouth ball jars (leaving a 1.5 inch head space). I have plastic leak proof ball lids that I got on Amazon years ago. I'm pleased I ordered the ball jars when I did, before Covid (from Lehman's in USA), as they will no longer ship to New Zealand. I cook rice and freeze small portions in silicone containers divided into sections. I freeze a lot of things :)

Anyway I hope this is helpful to someone. Thank you for your encouraging blog Donna. I always glean something and just enjoy reading what you and Charles are up to ~ Linda

Stephanie G - a hit on dental work and insurance.  If you can schedule dental work for November or December and then any additional after the first of the year your insurance should pay the annual limit for each visit.  My s-i-l was having teeth pulled and getting dental implants and made that work for her.

Pam - If you could have the social worker from either the hospital or the care center discuss this issue with your brother, it might come across better coming from them rather than family.  Either way it isn't going to be a pleasant discussion, but facts are facts and at some point your brother is going to have to accept them.

Ann W, thank you - the social workers and co-ordinators have already been talking to him, and that was last week and the week before but still it's not sinking in - and we've received a notice to pay - not happening, we're aged pensioners ourselves and don't have that kind of money whereas he's single, no dependants, and has his own unit as well as another - sooner or later he's going to have to face reality.  But I can't force him - we do have power over him to do things though.

Laura, I stayed home when my children were small, but when the last one was in elementary school I went to work.  All the children had a chore to do which was rotated.  When they got a little older they each cooked dinner one night a week.  The youngest usually cooked hot dogs and pork and beans but that was okay.  For my husband, I made a list of jobs around the house and I asked him which he wanted to be responsible for and he picked a few.  I still ended up with a larger share of work, but it was nice to have help.  Don't just say I need help ask for what help you need or give them a chance to pick which he would like to do and be sure to thank him.  Maybe he will cook a meal each week and he might be a pretty good cook.  Things don't have to be perfect and he will do things differently than you, but just think you didn't have to do it.  You don't need a perfect house and you will make mistakes and you can learn from them.

One of the pizza places near us had pepperoni pizza hot and ready for $5 and I would pick that up some days.  It must have been large because it feed 5 people.  Just do the best you can and if something doesn't get done it will be there tomorrow or the next day.  

Excellent dental hint, Ann W! Thank you. 

I am leaving this forum up until Sunday evening (July 12th) here in USA and will then close the forum until the next post.  Thank you all for going along with this new forum schedule that helps me take a break between posts.  See you on Monday July 20th (most likely evening of Monday July 19 to include those in New Zealand and  Australia) for my next post Grandma Donna

Thank you, Grandma Donna, for sharing your knowledge and insights, and for facilitating the community and the forum. There's always plenty to do and to think about between posts. It's like the "old days" where we would wait patiently for a letter to arrive. Always worth the wait! Have a good break; stay well, safe and happy!