About gDonna
The photo is my son and myself. Now days you can get a photo made to look old like this one. This photo was taken when this was the new look.

Harry S Truman was president when I was born and world war II had ended. I grew up in a time when lunch was put in a brown paper bag and a sandwich was wrapped with wax paper. There was no such thing as pantyhose, we wore stockings that attached to the rubbery clippy things that attached to the girdle. Convenience stores were not common and when we took a trip we packed a picnic basket because many places did not have fast food. Highways had places to pull over and stop, some with picnic tables. Read more ....
 

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Comments On Article: August, 1940 ... Ish

1,687 posts (admin)
Fri Aug 02, 24 10:16 PM CST

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Click the Reply To This Topic button below to post yours.

A
27 posts
Fri Aug 02, 24 11:44 PM CST

My late dh had life insurance that paid for his funeral including purchasing a lot, funeral service, cremation, urn and burial.  There was enough left of his life insurance for me to purchase a burial trust to pay for my final expenses.  For me it will just be cremation, urn and burial.  It is possible to purchase a funeral trust by making monthly payments which is a good option if you do not have the lump sum.  I got my trust through my local bank.  It is irrevocable meaning money cannot be used for anything except funeral expenses.  It earns interest which helps keep up with inflation.

I use cash for groceries and keep the envelope in my purse.  At the end of the month any money left is put into another envelope labeled food and kept for the months I need extra.  I also use cash for miscellaneous items through the month and for gas.  I've gotten in the habit of putting receipts into the envelopes so when I get home it's easy to pull them out and enter into my budgeting system. On paper not on computer.  In 2022 I was able to account for all except $4 of my annual spending, best I've ever done.  For 2023 I was within $14 which for a year I consider okay.  If I spend money where you do not get a receipt, I write the amount on the envelope otherwise I forget.

For people nearing retirement, find out the amount you will be receiving from Social Security and any retirement benefits.  Then make a budget based on that amount and live on it for at least a year although two years would be better.  This allows you to make the necessary adjustments to your lifestyle and spending before you retire, allows you to save earnings over that amount and lets you know if you can afford to retire.   People who do not adjust their spending to meet the lower income will quickly get into financial difficulties.  Also, do not retire until you are debt free even if this means working longer or selling your home and moving into a lower value property.

K
103 posts
Sat Aug 03, 24 12:07 AM CST

Those funeral costs are shocking to me. 10 years ago when we buried our son the plot was $350. The funeral cost under $10,000 and his headstone was $5500 BUT that was our choice. We could have gotten a much cheaper headstone but it was not what we wanted in our grief.

We brought the plot next to him at the time and that was a double depth plot at around $450.

A friend's husband passed a year ago. The whole funeral was under $8000. He was cremated.

We brought funeral cover insurance for the both of us that we pay a monthly fee of $43 ( for the both of us not each) and that was  for$10,000 each cover.

We have given very clear Instructions for when our time comes...... No embalming, plain pine casket, graveside service, afternoon tea in a hall or cafe.


K
103 posts
Sat Aug 03, 24 12:10 AM CST
Ann W wrote:

My late dh had life insurance that paid for his funeral including purchasing a lot, funeral service, cremation, urn and burial.  There was enough left of his life insurance for me to purchase a burial trust to pay for my final expenses.  For me it will just be cremation, urn and burial.  It is possible to purchase a funeral trust by making monthly payments which is a good option if you do not have the lump sum.  I got my trust through my local bank.  It is irrevocable meaning money cannot be used for anything except funeral expenses.  It earns interest which helps keep up with inflation.

I use cash for groceries and keep the envelope in my purse.  At the end of the month any money left is put into another envelope labeled food and kept for the months I need extra.  I also use cash for miscellaneous items through the month and for gas.  I've gotten in the habit of putting receipts into the envelopes so when I get home it's easy to pull them out and enter into my budgeting system. On paper not on computer.  In 2022 I was able to account for all except $4 of my annual spending, best I've ever done.  For 2023 I was within $14 which for a year I consider okay.  If I spend money where you do not get a receipt, I write the amount on the envelope otherwise I forget.

For people nearing retirement, find out the amount you will be receiving from Social Security and any retirement benefits.  Then make a budget based on that amount and live on it for at least a year although two years would be better.  This allows you to make the necessary adjustments to your lifestyle and spending before you retire, allows you to save earnings over that amount and lets you know if you can afford to retire.   People who do not adjust their spending to meet the lower income will quickly get into financial difficulties.  Also, do not retire until you are debt free even if this means working longer or selling your home and moving into a lower value property.

Ann W

The superannuation we will receive at retirement is more than the income we receive now. I agree wholeheartedly about being debt free

S
5 posts
Sat Aug 03, 24 5:05 AM CST

I am really pleased that you have raised the subject of funeral costs as they can often be seen as almost taboo sometimes. Our neighbours have been dragged into quite significant debt due to the funeral costs for two of their parents who sadly passed away within a year of each other. This made losing their parents even harder to cope with and increased the stress of grief significantly.

In the UK the average cost of a funeral is significantly cheaper, but then average wages are also significantly lower. I just checked the costs via our local cooperative funeral home and they are: £765 for a burial plot, £200 for minister or officiant, and £3150 for basic coffin, transportation to the funeral in ceremonial vehicle and graveside service. So a total of £4115 plus the optional costs of any wake- I believe this is about $5268. The UK government will provide an interest free loan for those who are on certain income related benefits which helps but the costs still come as a shock to many at one of the most difficult times in their lives.

T
74 posts
Sat Aug 03, 24 6:53 AM CST

I know that a lot of the smaller, family run funeral homes are barely making ends meet, even with prices what they are.  It's just a very expensive type of business to run, and it's a shame that government regulations have made it that way.  I wish it were still legal in more states for families and communities to conduct their own natural burials.  The cost is so much lower that way and more importantly, the experience more meaningful. There's a wonderful book about that called Dealing Creatively with Death.

In my family we've always gone with cremation both to save money and because none of us like the idea of burying a loved one in a sealed concrete vault, as is required by law in our state.  However if a natural wooden coffin and a grave hand dug by family were an option, most of us would choose it.  I think it's really sad that that choice has been taken away.  

You asked about prices different places, and here in Michigan it was just under $2,000 for a cremation when my father died unexpectedly last year.  That was without any kind of service.  I don't know the cost these days for a service and burial, but around $15,000 would not surprise me at all.  



Keeping it simple in the woods of Michigan.
S
14 posts
Sat Aug 03, 24 6:53 AM CST

This 1940s series has been such good reading Grandma Donna. I find that some of what you are talking about we are already doing but there are also new (to me!) ideas that I can consider. We budget always - I write out a meal plan and then put my shopping list underneath. This way when I am shopping, if there is something I cannot buy then I can adjust my meal plan and buy any extras that are needed for the changes. 

The costs of even a basic funeral is so much money. All our parents and grandparents are gone now, we have no children and our remaining family live 1500 kilometres (930 miles) away. My husband and I decided we would both have what is known as a direct cremation with no funeral. The cost is currently only around $2100 (Australian dollars). If possible, my ashes are to be poured into the centre of wild wreath flowers in Western Australia because I just love the annual mass flowering.  Again, if possible, my husband's ashes are to be scattered into the breaking waves at his favourite beach in South Australia where we go camping every 2nd year after Easter. Whichever of us survives the other will use the money saved to visit friends and family across the country and travel to scatter the ashes. The fulfilment of the survivor's wishes will be up to their executor.

M
5 posts
Sat Aug 03, 24 8:47 AM CST

I haven't finished the article or read the comments but I felt the need to comment. First, check with your state (I don't know about other countries) if there is what is called a green burial. In GA, there are at least 2 places where you can be buried straight into the ground ( I want to say in a cardboard box but I'm NOT certain so don't quote me on it).  And, there are places where you DON'T inherit your parent's bills when they pass on. Check into that, as well.

A
9 posts
Sat Aug 03, 24 9:03 AM CST

All of this information was helpful.  I was born in 1947 so can relate to the 40's.

Another thing to keep in mind...when your spouse dies, you will be left with only one social security income, not both.  You would get the higher dollar amount, but that would really diminish your income further.  I do worry about that, as my DH's pension ends at his death as well.

We have pre-paid our final wishes as of this year.  My parents did the same and we had minimal expense at their deaths.  We have purchased a niche where both of our urns will be placed together.  

We do the "envelope system" but do it "online". Each month a certain amount is put into savings accounts at the beginning of the month.  These are labeled Taxes and Insurance, Auto, Home, and Gifts.  When the taxes are due, we transfer the saved money into our checking account to pay that bill.  Auto is saving up to pay cash for a new car eventually.  Home is for unexpected repair expenses, or upgrades as needed.  The gifts category is for Christmas gifts to kids and grandkids.  For birthdays, we use our regular account as the amounts are smaller.

We have also recently put our home in a revocable trust to avoid probate which will save our sons money when we pass.  The lawyer fees were a lot to do this, but we feel good that the government won't get more of our hard-earned money.

My husband worked till age 76 (he's 81 now) because he loved his job.  After age 70, there is no penalty by social security as to how much you can make.  We had his check deposited into a special savings account, and did not use it to live on.  I had retired 6 years before he did,so we learned to watch our expenses.

Ann in Florida

Edited Sat Aug 03, 24 9:10 AM by Ann P
J
27 posts
Sat Aug 03, 24 10:25 AM CST

We have done the end of life care for the last of our parent’s generation now. Mother in law was the last, aged 95. There was very little left from her savings and selling her house to pay for her care, with the nursing home fees at over £70,000 a year. A modest cremation and a buffet meal for about twenty came to over £5,000. The ashes were scattered. 

Weddings and funerals have become a huge business with lots of fancy extras. Going back to the 1940s seems such a sensible idea, keeping things simple and unostentatious. We have been thinking about an unattended cremation, about £900 all done, and a meal out for the remaining family when our estate is all sorted. We are a small family even including the great nieces and great nephews. 

We used a separate building society savings account instead of envelopes for our budget when we were first married. We paid in a lump sum to start it, and a monthly amount which we thought would cover all of the regular bills, gas, electricity, insurance, car tax and servicing, etc. DH could collect a cheque for the exact sum to pay the bills, in his lunch hour. We estimated more accurately in the second year, allowing for inflation, and we earned a bit of interest on our money. 

We have a joint bank account, which earns interest, now for the bills and standing orders. We both have Power of Attorney to manage financial affairs and medical decisions incase one of us goes gaga, and DD has control if we both outlive our minds. Keeping records is essential to know what is where. 

I did stop using cash when I was in isolation during the worst of Covid. I did the grocery shopping online at Asda and DH would collect it at 7 a.m. from the car park when it was deserted. I cut my grocery bill in those years, and built up some savings because I couldn’t go shopping. Rationing must have had much the same effect. Prices were controlled and there wasn’t much of anything extra available to buy. 

Edited Sat Aug 03, 24 10:28 AM by Janet W
N
7 posts
Sat Aug 03, 24 11:14 AM CST

When my father past away many years ago my mother was shocked at the expense.  After she paid for daddy’s funeral she immediately chose her own coffin and prepaid all expenses.  When she past away 4 years later I had absolutely no immediate decisions to make.  I was given the opportunity to just grief.  I appreciate her foresight and kindness to me. My husband and I have begun the process of preplanning.  We want to do the same thing for our kids.  I am also in the process of setting up a next of kin box which details where to find everything.  It provides all those details in one stop. Who we bank with,  what all those silly keys go to, what our investments are with contact information, lawyers name with location of the will, house documents, insurance information and funeral preparation.  And so much more.  I have also been getting rid or unnecessary papers.  The shedding is amazing, why did I keep all that stuff?  These are just the things I remember having to do with mom’s estate.  I have been slowly setting it up.  My husband and I are both in our 70’s so know we could live another 20 years but doubt it.  We feel preparation is necessary.  We don’t think it is going to get any cheaper.

We have always been savers and like to pay for things with cash.  Many cashiers are surprised when we pull out real money to pay for something.  I usually mention at small business that I like to pay cash so they don’t get charged credit card fees.  Sometimes they will give me a small discount.  Credit card fees used to be 2% now they are 4 to 5%.  That is a lot of money they are losing every month.  Krogers has started to charge if you take cash back on your debit card.  I hate paying bank fees.  To take money from an ATM that is not your back is $3.  That is crazy.  I know the governments are going to try and go to all digital currency but I am fighting it in my small way

A
9 posts
Sat Aug 03, 24 12:57 PM CST

Just a FYI...when you die, the POA is no longer valid.  

Instead of paying for the NOK Box system, I have a notebook called "where is stuff" that includes all the pertinent info.  Location of everything.  Very detailed.  Our boys know where that is kept, and I update it yearly, as needed.

We were eternally grateful to my parents, as well, that their decisions had been made and paid for.  The only expense we had was the newspaper obit.  We had a private family ceremony by their niche and witnessed the placing of the urn.  The Navy also had a flag ceremony for my Dad, a veteran.  (free of charge).  We all went to a restaurant after the service.

L
3 posts
Sat Aug 03, 24 5:57 PM CST

When I buried my mother two years ago we were astonished at the cost. She thought she had paid for her plot at the time my father died. We found out that in her grief, she had only bought his plot and a joint headstone. In order to bury her next to my father it cost us $18,000 just to bury an urn!!!!!

The whole estate worked out to $40,000 in bills. Fortunately, the estate was able to pay us back a year later. But what if we weren't able to cover these costs? 

We live in an expensive area, but we were shocked that to have a coffin sized plat in that cemetery today would cost $50,000 to start!

My DH and I just bought our plots. We have no children so we plan for outer estate to cover the rest but it's a real worry.

G
355 posts (admin)
Sat Aug 03, 24 9:58 PM CST

Grandma Donna Wrote, so many stories about similar situations and enough to know that it is a big expense that we need to plan for so our family will not be burdened with money at such a sad time.  Thank you all so much for commenting and sharing your stories, I hope that more of you do comment because this is very interesting to read.  

Charles and I started our new 1940 budget this week, today is day three and we have already had unexpected expenses, a plumbing issue and a trip to the store for parts and another piece of equipment that we use outside. However this is making us get more organized than we were before and noticing things that are breaking down they did not even have in 1940.  A pressure washer and the sprayer to the faucet.  They would have never had these repairs.  The sprayer was not expensive but the leak was quite a mess and a little damage. The old pressure washer bit the dust, and this area that we live gets very slippery if we do not pressure wash our cement walkways and keep mold and mildew down.  I wonder if outside mold and mildew was such a problem in the past?   Donna

N
7 posts
Sat Aug 03, 24 10:18 PM CST

Donna,  I wonder if they had gravel paths.  I would think that gravel would not get the standing water that would encourage the moss to grow.  Water would run right thru.  I remember in the 50’s having bark dust paths.  Again no moss but it had to be renewed every few years. Less initial cost but maintenance.

l
8 posts
Sat Aug 03, 24 11:11 PM CST

When people are confronted with a death it can be hard to make good decisions regarding a funeral. They are grieving & likely cannot think clearly. My late father-in-law donated his body to science. The medical school took care of the cremation at no cost to the family. They arranged transportation to pick up his body from the hospital to transport it also. I am thinking of doing this as it is an economical way to handle burial expenses. My mother died before her mother. I had to make funeral arrangements & pay for my grandmother's burial. I decided upon cremation and her ashes were buried in the plot she had paid for. I bought the headstone & my church conducted a simple graveside service. My grandmother's two sons did not help w/ expenses so I had to plan something I could afford. I did have 2 relatives who helped with expenses & I was grateful for that. I think it is good to plan ahead.

L
29 posts
Sun Aug 04, 24 2:18 AM CST

The funeral expenses do seem very high, my Mum died a few years back and a plan that she had invested in paid for most things with the whole thing costing approximately £5000. She was the last of our parents to go and we looked after her in our own home until her death to avoid her having to go into a care home. 

We are so lucky here in the UK to have the NHS ( National Health Service ) for free although after decades of underfunding it is creaking at the seams, that said we do have to pay for dental care which need to be budgeted for, along with the opticians as we both wear glasses.

As well as our taxes we pay National Insurance out of our wages and that gives us a State pension at the age of 68, this will need to be topped up with Private pensions as well so we have been paying into those all our working lives. My husband is 5 years younger than me so is still working and it’s my job to run the home, I really liked Anne’s comment about treating this as a business as that’s just what I do and consider it my job to make sure everything is budgeted for.

Our biggest expense at the moment is veterinary care for our little dog, she is 13 and has osteoarthritis of the spine so needs daily medication together with various therapies to helps with her mobility, the pet insurance covered 80% of the fees for a year but then that run out so now we are paying for everything. The money that had been budgeted for a holiday this year has now been moved over into pet expenses so no going away for us but she is so precious to us and deserves to be looked after in her old age the same as any of us.

I love the picture of Katherine and Frank.

P
5 posts
Sun Aug 04, 24 2:21 AM CST

My mother is 80 now and living in a nursing home due to dementia. Some years ago she arranged and paid her funeral. It is a kind of guarentee with an undertaker, she paid 4000 Euro (ca. 4600 $) which includes everything, cremation, urn, transports, a funeral feast with speaker, anonymous burial, candles etc. She even fixed the music, and we also talked about what should be said. In event of death we only need to inform the undertaker, and he will take care of everything. For me it is an enormous relief that I don`t need to think about the money when my mother is passed away. In Germany the relatives are obliged to arrange and pay for a funeral, if there is nobody or nobody who is able to pay, the country will pay for it.

These 4000 Euro are a cheap version with anonymous burial, but I don`t need a place on a cemetery to remember my mother. The cost are much higher with a grave, you have to buy a coffin and a stone, and then you have to pay and take care of the place for 20 years minimum. I want my burial in a „Friedwald“ (means peace forest). This is a small forest where nature rules, no forestry work, nobody disturbing animals there. You will have a cremation and burial in a cardboard box near to a tree, and after some years you are part of the nature. 

Your article is a good reminder how important it is to have money as a reserve for unpredictable issues. Some weeks ago our cat was ill, didn`t want to eat, lost weight and threw up everything. Two visits at the pet doctor later and hundreds of Euro poorer we knew that he is absolutely fit but had flatulence (wrong feed). And yesterday I had to pay 300 Euro more than expected at the car repair shop. I don‘t use a system to keep track of the money, I set a monthly limit for food etc. In my calendar I have a page for each month where I note how much and where I spend the money, just to see in which supermarkets I leave most of our money.

Greetings from Germany,

Petr

s
20 posts
Sun Aug 04, 24 7:28 AM CST

I have been taking some classes regarding death and dying and an interesting option is caring for the deceased body at home with a home funeral - no embalming.  Regulations vary from state to state so should be considered before starting this.  Cardboard or even willow coffins are available or simple pine boxes (I understand that some religions mandate this so the pine box should be available through any funeral home or through Walmart (!))  Families often choose to decorate the cardboard boxes with drawings and messages of love which can be a very healing ritual. If you have plot at a cemetery that allows a natural burial (often these create protected natural preserves), one can also be laid to rest with just a shroud and a small flat stone added later.  Otherwise cremation saves quite a bit over the traditional burial in a vault

We cremated my parents when they passed and they share one plot with small markers.  Prices will vary quite a lot at cemeteries even for plots to hold ashes so you might want to ask around.  

I think it makes it a lot easier on those left behind if one at least stipulates what they want even if it isn't paid for yet so no one feels obligated to go all because they don't want to seem disrespectful

I have relatives that have been in the funeral business for generations and they definitely aren't getting rich on the funeral costs but I suppose that someone is.  

For myself I have tried to live a simple life connected with nature and I want my end to reflect that

sharing some resources: 

https://theinspiredfuneral.com/

general death education resources including a certification but there are also sometimes individual classes:  https://www.1spirit.org/thanatology-certification

https://www.memorialplanning.com/burial-types/natural-burials#:~:text=A%20natural%20burial%20does%20not,minimum%20impact%20on%20the%20environment.

There are also interfaith ministers and/or celebrants scattered across the entire country who can help plan a memorial service or funeral in the home or in a local meeting place for families without a traditional religious affiliation. 


J
27 posts
Sun Aug 04, 24 11:25 AM CST

Washing Soda was used on slippery paths, either sprinkled on damp concrete or gravel, or a solution sprayed on. This is from the Dri Pak information page. 

Not only are moss and slime unsightly they are also a slip hazard. Clear them by sprinkling Soda Crystals directly on to the affected areas and use a watering-can to wet the area*.

Alternatively, you can simply put them down when rain is expected. Leave to treat for a day or two, until the moss turns brown. Then brush or scrape off and rinse with plenty of water.

*Soda Crystals are biodegradable but do exercise care when rinsing off near ponds and other plant life.

M
2 posts
Sun Aug 04, 24 11:34 AM CST

I live in central Florida. My mother died 17 years ago and was cremated at a cost of $700. I just checked the website of the funeral services used and the cost of the cheapest cremation is $795. If not having a cemetery plot is okay with you, check out cremation. My mother's ashes were placed in several places, the final tiny bit of her ashes I dug into a pot of red roses which she loved. 

J
6 posts
Sun Aug 04, 24 8:06 PM CST

Thank you Grandma Donna for all of your valuable information.

I have opted for a simple cremation with no service and have instructions for my family to have a gathering with music I have picked out and the foods that we have now at our family get togethers.  Ashes are to be spread on my flower gardens and in my woods. Family will be living in my house and they love the idea. Personal opinion but I have always thought long 3 day waits, the funeral service and then trek to the burial ground was just too much.

I know my electrical usage will be up this month, can't be helped. The heat and humidity mean the AC is going more than usual but for health reasons it can't be helped.


G
355 posts (admin)
Sun Aug 04, 24 9:44 PM CST

Grandma Donna wrote, thank you all for commenting, I am enjoying everyone's comments and stories, thank you so much?  Also Janet W, thank you for doing a search for getting rid of moss and mold. I would have never thought of washing soda and I have some!  

This is so interesting to me of the many ways of burial or cremation.  There are some green burials here in the U.S. but I do not know about our state, I will have to check that.  Donna

V
5 posts
Sun Aug 04, 24 10:08 PM CST

Hello Donna and All, I try to keep up with visits here, but as with everyone here, life stays busy.  I did want to share on the death/funeral costs.  Back in 1998 I came across a book that explained how the funeral operations were so very expensive and that there were ways for ones to bury their own, arrange their own funerals, etc. I began looking into this and found it so interesting. The book gave a state by state list of regulations and where to inquire in your own state. Charles and I decided this is what we wanted to plan for.  In the mid 90's God brought several severely handicap children to be knitted in with our family. In 2003, living in Arkansas, one of our children passed away from his disabilities. Since we had already decided on the way we wanted to attend to deaths that may come, this was our first to do. Charles made the casket for our child. The cemetery was 1/8 of a mile from our farm. It is a very rural, old cemetery, the plot cost $100 and we paid dues in the way of donations, there was never a set amount, for upkeep of the cemetery. Charles took his equipment and dug the hole. When we were ready for the burying, Charles went to the morgue with the casket in our van, the morgue placed our child in the casket, Charles closed it and came back to the cemetery and we had our graveside gathering. It was such a sweet time. Our child was not embalmed. He died at the hospital, the next day built the casket/prep ground, the next day the gathering, 3 days total and the cost was for the lumber only. Our child did have insurance which paid the hospital.   We moved to a farm in TN in 2007 and we lost another child in 2012, while living in TN. He had a long history of issues but out lived more than the doctors ever said he would. We had begun a family cemetery on our land and our son is buried there. Again, Charles made the casket, dug the ground. The difference in TN is we had to notify the sheriff, when our son came home from the hospital with hospice. They came out while he was still living, and we gave them the information of our plans for his burial. When our child passed, we called the sheriff and nurse, they came out to pronounce him passed, watched us place him in the casket, sealed it. As he passed in late Nov. and it was terrible cold, we placed the casket in Charles' shop till the next morning, when we brought him to the orchard, where we had our cemetery area and had our gathering. Again, it was a most sweet moment.  The only cost was lumber.  We moved back to Arkansas in 2018, the buyers of our TN farm had all knowledge of our son and family cemetery, they are taking great care of his place. They had no issues of this at all.   Just recently we lost another child due to his severe disabilities, but we no longer have the means as we did with the other 2. Our child was cremated. The cost and the urn that the funeral home provided was $1300. Again, these children, because of their severe disabilities, did have insurance through the state which paid for services as the coroner coming to our home as this is where our child passed.  If we would have been able to do with this child as we did our other 2 we would have.  Each person deals with death in their own way, yet, I would say that when one has the opportunity to have a part in their loved ones passing, it helps in the grieving.  I would also encourage any to research the topic of burying your own. It is not a stream line way of doing and ones will certainly get opinions, but it is worth the looking into.  Thank you Donna for all your effort in bringing us so much information and allowing us to share.  I apologize if mine was too long.    In Joy 

B
49 posts
Mon Aug 05, 24 12:57 AM CST

Here in southern Missouri, a no-frills cremation is less than $2,000. My friend's husband died a few years ago and she said it was $2,000 for the cremation. She said that if you aren't obese it costs less. She had a simple religious service that was free and she might have had a potluck afterward. I get junk mail all the time saying that a funeral can cost about $20,000! I will go with the cremation for $2,000.

This reply was deleted.
G
355 posts (admin)
Mon Aug 05, 24 7:24 PM CST

Grandma Donna Wrote,  Vivian K, welcome to the forum! It is so good to hear from you and to see you commenting. :)  I am so sorry to hear of the passing of another Child and I know that you miss them all. God knew who needed to raise these children and where to place them and I am certain they have gotten the best care possible with you and Charles.  To others reading this, Vivian and Charles have opened their hearts and their home to care for severely disabled children to raise into their adult life or until it was time for them to depart this world onto their eternal place. Thank you Vivian for what you do and I am so happy that you posted.  :) Donna

Becky Sue K, thank you for your comment and sharing with us your information.  Donna

Edited Mon Aug 05, 24 7:24 PM by Grandma Donna
J
75 posts
Tue Aug 06, 24 4:03 PM CST

As someone noted here, a body can be donated to science, but as I understand it, not all bodies are accepted, so I would say it is safest to make arrangements first, before anyone dies.  I could be wrong, so check, don't take my word for it.

Also, any honorably discharged veteran in the US can apply to be buried in a national cemetery.  As long as there is an opening and one is verified as honorably discharged one can be buried there; the burial or inurnment (putting the urn in the ground or in the columbarium) is completely free, as is the honor service.  The veteran's spouse or dependent child can also be buried or inurned, free of charge, with the veteran, when that time comes. Contact the VA or the county Veteran's Service Officer.  Each county should have a VSO.  The application and approval can all be ahead of time, to be safe.

We opted for pre-need burial plans with cremation, a simple service at the funeral home, and no rides to the cemetery - just all those going meet up there.  Our plans were just over $6,000 for the two of us, payable in a lump sum or over 3 or 5 years with the company we chose.  After 3 years, a person on a five year plan will be covered in full should the death come between year 3 and year 5 of payments.  Other plans than ours exist and may have different rules. I know a number of people who had very good experiences using pre-need plans, including my family. 

As far as nursing homes - one can see about getting Medicaid for that.  It is a process that has to be started before one thinks one will need it (five years, I believe), and a reputable elder affairs attorney should probably assist.  A person's assets excluding their home must be $2000 or less.  There is a spend-down rule and a rule about spousal impoverishment (saying one can refuse to become completely impoverished in order to keep a spouse in a nursing home).  It's not for everyone, but for those who don't have good retirement funds or pension plans, it may be the only choice.  Not everyone can be cared for in the home, in spite of the family's most ardent wishes.  


N
1 posts
Wed Aug 07, 24 10:34 AM CST

Hi Donna,

Your latest article is very interesting.  I have been wanting

to know how to do this kind of budgeting.  All of your

articles are educational!  I have been looking for a 1940s

club but unfortunately they all seem to be located in

Great Britain.  Plus none of them so it seems to be

about the home front.  So this forum will have to be

my Forties Club.


Nancy

T
37 posts
Wed Aug 07, 24 6:52 PM CST

Dome Home Budget Book is very similar to that 1940s book. 

I've dealt with three funerals, all cremations. When we were dealing with my mom's death, I got good advice from a funeral society. He said shop around and especially check the smaller places. He also said that most are too upset to consider this. (This is likely still true. If someone dies in an accident, the body is randomly assigned to a funeral home. You are not obligated to use them. Also, if family members start making demands, ask who is paying for it)


Hospitals usually can recommend places. There was a handout at the last one I did, which was really helpful. You will still have things done professionally. Some places just charge more than others. I don't remember the prices on my mom's cremation but the other two (one in 2008 and one in 2020) were around $1000. It's a good idea to look into this when you are getting older, because you can find places like that funeral society. And don't foget to do a will

L
52 posts
Thu Aug 08, 24 11:11 AM CST

Oy Donna~

I will just share (please keep in mind, this is just my opinion/belief) that I do not believe in insurance.  I understand it being required when there is a loan on it, but once it's paid off what I just suggested to my parents (and they ended up doing) was to pay their own account/envelope the amount of the monthly insurance payment.  Their home ins. was going up 30%, and they've never had a claim.  By paying themselves, if there is an event, they will have a savings to cover it (or a good portion of it).  The ins. companies have already calculated the risks so using their number to pay yourself is actually a calculated number.  Anyhoo, that's what my family is doing.  We are in a different scenario than you, but this is also what we do for health insurance.  I have a special "medical" savings account.  The good news is we are earning interest on this money rather than it just being gone.  When we go to the doctor, we can use it and keep making our payments to ourselves.  We are very far ahead with this account.  I wouldn't usually share this on someone else's site, but if it does help someone, it's worth it.  The key obviously is to be disciplined enough to pay yourself and not to spend it elsewhere.

On funerals, I dealt with that in 2015 and 2016.  There was a fee for the casket for each, but there was no fee for the graveside service.  They too had prepaid for their resting place ahead of time.  If I am remembering correctly, the caskets we chose were about the $3000 range and we made a "donation" to the pastor for the graveside service but there was no set fee.  I think what you had to pay was exceptional (not in a good way).

I've not been living the 1940 study closely but have been following along and trying to make adjustments as I can.  It's garden/canning season so food takes priority.

Have a blessed day~

Lady Locust  



G
355 posts (admin)
Thu Aug 08, 24 11:43 AM CST

Grandma Donna Wrote, Nancy Q, I am happy you decided to join the forum, we will be happy to be your 40's club and then some. :)  We talk about most anything here.  I am happy that you have found us.

Terry P, yes the Dome Budget book is a good one and has been around a long time.  Thank you for sharing your information, especially to choose where the loved one goes even if they automatically send them to a random funeral home.

Lady L,  Thank you commenting and sharing the things that your family does.  I feel that many of us have thought of this but been afraid to make the cut, however if it is too expensive and we need food and shelter then some things have to change. I feel that expenses cannot go up anymore because we are already, (we as in many people) at a tipping point, one more increase will break the budget.  

Thank you all for posting, let's keep talking. Donna

A
139 posts
Sun Aug 25, 24 7:57 AM CST

GDonna this post has such a large amount of information on it I had to print it off. I made lots of notes as we are in the middle of planning our trust. We were told we are much farther ahead in some things and on others not so much. Ours is more complicated and we own a business, but we only have one child. They want to give us a large notebook to out everything in bit I keep thinking I have notebooks that I use that are already paid for and we know what they look like because we use them for special things like this. I hate spending unnecessary money. For example our doctor who we pay cash to said recently that my husband needs an exercise bike ro strengthen his knee to prevent an old injury from the Iraq war flaring up and plus strengthening it. He said to please buy it within a week if we can and use it daily. After a couple days research I found one and the original one I was going to buy I decided not to and found this other one and saved over 100 dollars. I've bee doing lots of canning along with fermenting and dehydrating lately. Doing this for many years has saved us a huge amount over winter or if we get a slow time. One time we didn't receive money enough to pay ourselves with our business for 9 months. I was thankful we had food stored up and savings. Everything is extremely expensive and I've found I do buy somethings now knowing I need them very soon and the cost will have gone up on them. 

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