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The photo is my son and myself. Now days you can get a photo made to look old like this one. This photo was taken when this was the new look.

Harry S Truman was president when I was born and world war II had ended. I grew up in a time when lunch was put in a brown paper bag and a sandwich was wrapped with wax paper. There was no such thing as pantyhose, we wore stockings that attached to the rubbery clippy things that attached to the girdle. Convenience stores were not common and when we took a trip we packed a picnic basket because many places did not have fast food. Highways had places to pull over and stop, some with picnic tables. Read more ....

Is there an order anymore?

October 16, 2017

I love this time of year when the Heirloom Chrysanthemums bloom.  This is a very old variety that have somehow managed to not die off.  They have a long history as they came from the home of an elderly postmistress. They were given to my mother and we dug them up several times and transplanted them as my  mothers health was failing and first we moved her close to us then here to our home.

In the past there were roles and an order of which things were done.

It seems to me that we have gone too far from our roots.  I feel people were grounded more in the past and I am very concerned that basic skills have been lost.  Generations before us would pass down knowledge and teach the younger generations and also pass down family traditions.  It was the days when women wore aprons to keep their clothing from getting stained and shoes went to be repaired instead of the trash. Clothing was mended several times before it was replaced and the fabric from that garment was used in other ways for quilts and rugs.

But consumerism has butted in and encouraged us to acquire large modern homes and then goods to fill those homes and then we have gone even further as to have electronics that require services that have almost wiped out anything that resembles a family budget.  

We are encouraged to constantly change our style of clothing, hair, makeup, appliances, electronics. 

We are encouraged to be selfish, they want us to feel like we should own things that make our life easy and pampered, we should wear named brands and have manicures and pedicures, we should "want" jewelry.  We "need" that new car with the new car smell. It is all very well planned advertising. 

When we go along with these trends the manufacturers achieve their goal of becoming wealthy while the people that fall for their schemes spend a ridiculous amount of money which leads to debt which leads to family stress and often broken households.

I can tell you that we do not have to live this way!  It alarms me to where this is all going.

I have to go back to my Grandmother because she was my example of the proper order.  I like the old fashioned way of when our roles in life were more defined.  Proverbs 31 is a good example of a wife of noble character.    

What is strange to me today is how some people would actually get annoyed if this chapter is pointed out as if time changes the Bible.  My Grandmother was rooted in Gods word and I feel she inspired many people with her gentle nature and steadiness all her life.

I like my role as a woman, I like to make our home romantic and have pretty coverings on the bed. I enjoy making homemade items for our home and growing food in the back yard.  I also love my husband and the fact that he is stronger than me and he makes me feel safe.  We both work together but different in our own way.  I like that we have different genders and different roles.  I was taught home economics in school years ago.  We were taught how to run a household and take care of a husband. I don't know if they even do that today.

I do my best to work hard and I generally get up before light and before Charles and start my day which is normally pretty busy.  I respect our roles because if done as is written it is done in love.  We find many verses about love in the Bible and caring for each other but there is an order of who is the head.

A handwritten note written years ago by my Grandmother.

I could not do the things I do if Charles was not a Godly man because then our order would be off,   1 Corinthians 11 is a good example and I also wear a prayer bonnet when I pray and other times because of this chapter.  People find ways to interpret the verses to fit their needs or just things they don't want to do but I simply take it as it is written and it was this way when I was young and still is today just people stopped doing this.  

I want to do things for Charles, I want to take care of him and keep our home running smooth.  I don't always achieve this but I try.  He deserves this because he goes out to work for us.  Even when I was working outside the home I still wanted it this way.  But Charles is a good man and when a man and woman respect each other they work together.

We realize these roles can change anytime and we can become a caregiver and then one day one of us will pass away before the other and our roles will be forever changed but we still have to go on and we must pick up and organize our new role and our purpose.  I know this will be very hard.

We will still have responsibilities even if we are alone because we are responsible to keep our body as healthy as we can by nourishing and exercising our body. We are responsible to keep our home clean we need to maintain what we do have and we still have to manage our finances.

I have always felt strongly that it is my role to get up early to meet the needs of the household and our family.  I did this before we had children, after we had children, before I worked outside the home, after I started working outside the home and even though I am retired and slowing down I still do my best to do this every day especially now since Charles is still working outside the home.

I feel that many people are just living an auto pilot life not considering the consequences of a life such as this.   

We failed this one and have been working hard to make up for it because we did not see ourselves as caregivers not once but twice. It was my parents one at a time and the loss of my income which was the loss of  savings and the loss of money towards my social security.  I have no regrets becoming their caregiver but I have regrets that we did not even consider this ever happening and why I am bringing it up.  It is also expensive to cover all their expenses.

We didn't always have our life in order, there was a time where we joined the many following consumerism during the 90s when we were both working and going out to eat and not watching our budget purchasing new appliances and furniture and accumulating debt. You see others do it so what is wrong with that right?  Most of those things did not even last and we no longer have.  We should have stuck with the older items.  Most importantly we did come back around to our senses and started the process of getting out of debt, putting older vintage things that are solid (with exception of that darn HE washer)  and putting money in savings. 

When we look at the past many things they considered being "proper" we consider ridiculous today but actually would be a very good thing. 

It would have been considered improper for a unmarried woman walk alone without being chaperoned by an older married woman. 

There would be a strict order of courtship and a long list of proper ways to do this.   Considering our epidemic of teen and young adult unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases I can see why this is necessary even today. 

 Nobody talks about this anymore, there are no examples for our young people and this makes me very sad.

Our older generations that lived a life before modern things have almost gone now.  They are not here to be our examples but we can at least try to resemble them.

I feel I have rambled on a bit but this is what was in my heart and on my mind today. I didn't know if I should post this and I asked Charles and he said I should.  It is different for me than than the younger people today because I lived a time when life was more simple and I wish so badly young people could have the experience of when life was more simple but time goes on and things change.  Some change is good and some is not.

 I thought the yellow rose was the last rose of the season but here is another beautiful pink rose from our garden today.  Grandma Donna

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